One person suggests wrapping my chest tightly in brown paper! Perhaps they're really saying I should post myself off to a far-flung place where I can happily cough myself into oblivion!
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About Me
- NickP
- Leigh, in Lancashire, United Kingdom
- I've had a cough for 18 years now, and have tried many, many things to get rid of it, without any lasting success. This blog is full of ideas that people have sent me after I appeared in the newspapers, and on radio and TV, talking about it a few years ago.
Things I've tried:
- Just about every "conventional" medical test there is... plus
- Acupuncture
- Hypnotherapy
- Cutting out dairy & wheat
- Humidifier in the bedroom
- Food intolerance tests
- Meditation
- Chinese herbal medicine
- Homeopathy
- Buteyko
Simple ideas
- My favourite - chewing Airwaves gum
- A Fisherman's Friend!
- Cup of boiling water, 2 tspns honey, 2 slices lemon
- Suck fruit pastilles
- Gargle with vinegary water
Odd ideas
"Wear a Darth Vader Voice Changer Mask ... it'll distract from the coughing and hide the chewing!"
"Give up drinking Coke! (I don't anyway)
"... it's a fur ball, like my cat gets - someone should give you a slap on the back!"
"A girl I know who was constantly coughing was found to be eating her own hair while asleep, so you might want to consult a sleep therapist… or a barber."
"Take down your net curtains!"
"Eat three bananas a day."
or "four lemons"
or "10 dessert spoons of extra virgin olive oil!"
"Surround yourself with spider plants.."
"Give up drinking Coke! (I don't anyway)
"... it's a fur ball, like my cat gets - someone should give you a slap on the back!"
"A girl I know who was constantly coughing was found to be eating her own hair while asleep, so you might want to consult a sleep therapist… or a barber."
"Take down your net curtains!"
"Eat three bananas a day."
or "four lemons"
or "10 dessert spoons of extra virgin olive oil!"
"Surround yourself with spider plants.."
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Cough jokes - because we need to keep a sense of humour!
...John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. "He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough," Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough!"
Next: not a joke, but these emails made me laugh on the Manchester Evening News website when the story first appeared:
"I can help this man. I need his address. I have a electronic device which will surely help him to cure from this caugh. If anyone can give me his address, i can post the device for free. it can also help from various body pains including back pain." sadab, Dhaka, Bangladesh
"Thanks Sadab, they're known in the UK as cattle prods. Do send it to him though..."
Mr.Manchester
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. "He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough," Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough!"
Next: not a joke, but these emails made me laugh on the Manchester Evening News website when the story first appeared:
"I can help this man. I need his address. I have a electronic device which will surely help him to cure from this caugh. If anyone can give me his address, i can post the device for free. it can also help from various body pains including back pain." sadab, Dhaka, Bangladesh
"Thanks Sadab, they're known in the UK as cattle prods. Do send it to him though..."
Mr.Manchester
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